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10 August 2008 @ 11:38 pm
Fandom: Lonelygirl15
Title: Shaken
Author: jazzygirl918
Feedback: is always great.
Pairing: Spencer/Taylor, mentions of Sarah, Daniel and Jonas, Bree and Isaac Gilman
Word Count: 2,047
Rating: PG-13 ish?
Genre: Fanfiction
Summary: Spencer invites Taylor over to his apartment and struggles with his attraction to her. Takes place right after the video "The Bree Solution" (Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAfDUedLS2g.)
Notes: I LOVE Spencer/Taylor, and even if they never get together, their friendship is still so much fun to watch.
Special Thanks: to Max and Becki for making Spencer and Taylor so much fun to watch.
Spoilers: Not really.
Warnings: If you're uncomfortable with a twenty-two year old being attracted to sixteen year old, then you skip this one.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sadly enough. 

            Taylor was curled into a cocoon on his couch, the setting sun shining through his glass patio doors and bathing the white walls in a rich, citrus red. She was still drawing on her hand with the blue pen she was decoding the documents with earlier, letting her mind vegetate after an unsuccessful day’s worth of deciphering water damaged papers. The apartment was still empty, and it seemed like Sarah, Daniel and Jonas were not coming back anytime soon.
            Spencer looked over from the kitchen. Besides a brief snack of cheese and crackers, they didn’t eat much that day, so he ordered takeout from the closest Chinese restaurant. His mouth was watering as he scooped out Singapore Noodles onto two plates. The delicately thin pasta fell over itself as steam wafted up from succulent chunks of shrimp. It had been way too long since he last had Chinese.
            It’s also been way too long since I’ve had someone over, he thought as he took down two tall glasses from his cabinet shelf. It was eerily reminiscent of a date, and he had to remind himself to go for the lemonade instead of reaching for the red wine. When was the last time I had a woman over? Probably before dad died.
            He winced. He hadn’t realized it was almost six months since he was with someone, since he was even remotely attracted to someone; now he had a blonde stretched out on his couch and possibly staying the night.
            He gave himself a shake. Don’t think of it like that, he groaned. Taylor is sixteen. That’s a six year difference between the two of you. He picked up the tray and carried it into the other room. “Dinner’s ready,” he announced as brightly as he could. “You hungry?”
            Taylor picked up her head and smiled at him, swinging her long, bare legs over to sit up straight. “Thanks, Spence,” she said, taking a plate and swirling her fork in the pasta. As she started to gulp down her portion, Spencer began flipping through the channels to try and ease the silence. The television, though, was not helpful in the least. The local channels? They were playing Law and Order episodes about statutory rape. The movie channel? It was showing Lolita. The news network? It was covering the history of the JonBenet Ramsey case with an in-depth look at John Mark Karr. VH1? Just his luck to flip to a documentary about The Police right in the middle of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”.
            Spencer dropped the remote, unwilling to go any further. The walls were slowly closing in on him, and the room was slowly starting to turn, like a carousel that hadn’t picked up speed yet. He put his hand on his forehead, trying to rub the entire situation away. He was not a child predator; he didn’t walk around checking out underage girls. Why the hell was his mind flipping out on him right now? Sure, Taylor was attractive – but so was Sarah, who was legal. If he wanted a hot blonde, surely he would have gone after her?
            But I don’t want a hot blonde, Spencer thought sadly. A familiar heaviness ached in his chest. I just want a friend. I’m…lonely.
            “I think there’s a soccer game going on against Manchester United and Liverpool,” Taylor interrupted. “Old rivalry – it ought to be good. Do you want to check it out?”
            Spencer blinked up at her, not really registering what she said. “Um, sure,” he shrugged. “Go ahead.”
            Taylor looked at him expectantly. Spencer stared back.
What is she doing that for?
She raised an eyebrow at him, and giggled at his confused expression.
No, really…what does she want?
She shifted position on the couch and leaned over him – her chest arching over his lap, balancing on her left hand that she placed way too close to him. All at once, the smell of her lotion – cherry blossoms at the peak of their splendor – and the heat of her body hit him like a speeding car. Her gray shirt slipped lower down her shoulder, revealing the tan that was proof of so many soccer practices; golden and beautiful everywhere, accentuating how blonde her hair was.
She was close, so close – too close. He froze in place, afraid to breathe, afraid that the cherry blossoms would drive him insane faster than all her bare skin would. He didn’t know what to do, what she was doing, but it was the sweetest torture in his life.
And as soon as she got what she needed, she retreated as if nothing happened. With the remote in her hands, she flipped through the channels to find the game. “Please don’t tell me you have, like, six hundred channels or something,” she chirped cheerfully, oblivious to his plight. “Because I’m not flipping through all of them.”
Spencer looked at Taylor out of the corner of his eyes, his mind turning to a numb mush with all the tension tearing at him. He had to get out of here, now. “I’m – uh, going to – well – I, ahh – I’ll – I’ll be right back.” He sprang from the couch and all but ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and slumping down the door.
I’m screwed. I’m fucked up. I’m a freaking pedophile. She’s too young! She’s sixteen! And she trusts you. You’ve got to be pretty sick to even be thinking about her like that.
But sixteen year olds were not like that. Normal sixteen year old girls didn’t hack in to utility records or crack codes. They didn’t help people they met blogging online, invite them to come thousands of miles to protect someone they don’t know. They didn’t spend Saturday afternoons hanging around a dorky adult who should know better. They were supposed to be frivolous, promiscuous, curious and teasing without the sophistication earned by time. They were supposed to have strawberry lip gloss, fake coach purses and dress up like schoolgirls to go to the mall. Taylor wasn’t one of those. She was a physical sixteen year old, yes – but mentally, she could rival him any day.
He splashed some cold water on his face to wake him up. You’ve been cooped up in the house with her for way too long. Wait until Jonas, Sarah and Daniel come over. They’ll take Taylor with them, and you’ll be home alone again. Live alone and like it.
He rejoined Taylor on the couch, who was screaming instructions at every player, regardless of their team. “Get it, get it – yeah! Turn to your right, your right – no, don’t run with it! Pass it, pass it, or else you’ll get – yeah, yeah! Come on, kick it - GOAL!”
Spencer turned to her as she jumped from the couch, pumping her fists in victory. “Did you see that? That was amazing – it was totally open!” She sat down eagerly for the next play in the game, her eyes bright with exhilaration and pure love for the game. Suddenly, inexplicably, it was Spencer’s favorite sport too.
*          *          *
Spencer’s phone vibrated with the incoming text message from Daniel. Skimming it quickly, he looked over at Taylor. “The others are still looking for whoever this TCC person is. They’re too far out and are just going to crash at a hotel.”
“It’d be great if they took the liberty of texting me,” mumbled Taylor, curling up tighter on a green throw pillow. The game had ended a few minutes ago, and she seemed more worn out than some of the players on either team.
“Did you want to go back to the apartment or something?” he asked with a shrug. “You’re welcome to stay here too.” It seemed kind of heartless to her send back to the apartment the four of them were sharing when there was a crazy cult on the loose.
Taylor was thinking along the same lines. “I’m staying here,” she murmured sleepily. “I’m not being alone if I can help it – if you’re okay with me crashing here.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” he assured her quickly, even though he felt his heart sinking. Taylor spending the night at his place? Because that wouldn’t be awkward. “Here, I’ll take the couch. My bed is more comfortable than this thing.” He winced at the innuendo. Head out of the gutter, Spencer.
“Too late,” giggled Taylor. “I’m already really comfortable here.” She wriggled a little bit, trying to find a softer spot.
“Did you want to use the bathroom beforehand? I can get you toothbrush and a towel, and I think I have some old clothes you could use as pajamas. I can show you how to turn on the shower, it’s kind of weird to get the hang of it at first, but it’s just a different design. Help yourself to any shampoo or soap or whatever in there. Is that okay? Taylor?”
But Taylor had already dozed off, still clutching the green pillow. With a smile, Spencer unfolded the down blanket and carefully tucked it around her. He stopped once he got to her face, and before he could help it, he brushed a loose lock of hair behind her ear. She looked so peaceful, so safe, as if no worry would ever plague her in her life. It took all his willpower to bypass a kiss goodnight on the forehead.
After his shower, Spencer pulled on a clean pair of boxers and an old collage T-shirt, his usual pajamas. Before heading off to bed, he peeked into the living room to make sure Taylor was doing okay. She was still in the same position he left her, but now the moonlight streamed behind her in great silver rays, bathing her in a soft, glowing light. He smiled in the doorway and turned to finally go to sleep.
“Spence?” he heard a faint, drowsy voice drift out.
He walked over and knelt at Taylor’s head. “Are you okay?” he asked, worry beginning to prick him. “Do you want some water? Leftover food? More pillows?”
She shook her head slightly. “No. I was just thinking about Bree’s purity bond.”
It was lucky it was dark, because Spencer felt a deep blush creeping into his cheeks. Their earlier conversation on abstinence and, albeit indirectly, sex was definitely not one he was eager to repeat. It didn’t really help on the keep-your-head-out-of-the-gutter front, but that was one time he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and scientific knowledge to himself. “What about?” he asked, slightly dreading her next question.
“I was just wondering why. I mean, why would they feel the need to have to threaten her? What is their gain?”
“Control,” Spencer said at once. “It’s just another form of control, to keep them in line.”
“You don’t think her parents would do that anyways?”
He paused. “Well…okay, good point. They didn’t exactly give her many opportunities to break the purity bond. The only other options I can think of are pregnancy and STDs.”
“I’m sure they would love more trait positive kids, though.”
“Then the last thing I can think of is STDs. They didn’t want her to contract anything. Well, that actually makes sense, since they wanted her for the amount of ribozymes in her blood anyway.”
“So an STD would change that?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry Taylor, my dad knew, but he never talked about it with me.” Spencer shook his head. “All we have are the documents now.” He got up and walked back towards his room. “Night, Taylor.”
He paused and turned around. “Yeah?”
Taylor’s voice sounded tiny and weak. “Please…don’t leave?”
Spencer stared across the room at her, stunned, as Taylor wriggled over to make room for him on the couch. If he had any reason – realization from the television programs, the remote, the dinner – if he had any adult reasoning at all, he should have turned around and refused. It was innocent, but he was twenty-two. And bizarrely enough, he found himself walking forward and laying down next to her. Feeling her clutch him tightly as if a teddy bear, Spencer realized that it didn’t matter if the line was pencil thin or thicker than blood – he had just undeniably crossed it.
byatt_loverbyatt_lover on August 13th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
I really liked this. I didn't find it creepy at all. She's 16. That's legal.

I'm not familiar of the fandom though, but it didn't matter. I could follow along very well. I loved the opening scene. it was very descriptive that I could picture what she was doing very easily.

I hope there's more to this story or these characters coming in the future, because I'm dying to know if they do hook up.

not to go off topic, but how Spencer was feeling reminded of the book I'm reading now, "Twilight" because Edward is struggling with his feelings for Bella because, well, he's a vampire and part of him wants to eat her and the other half loves her. not that being a vampire and dealing with an age difference is the same thing. but it just reminded me of that struggle of allowing yourself to have feelings for someone else, especially for the first time is frightening.
jazzygirl918: Orangejazzygirl918 on August 13th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)
I think the laws depend on what state you’re in…in California (where LG15 takes place), legal age is 18. Taylor still has two more years to go before Spencer can chill out, lol.

LG15 has ended, and with the little chance Spencer and Taylor have of making it into the spin-off, I’m hoping to spin their story into another direction.

Mmm, I remember that in Twilight. =) The early tension was the best part of the series, in my opinion, but then again I’m all for the little things that make us ship uncannon things. The first half of the book was chock full of that, before it became cannon. And I think you put it in a really good way – it’s the struggle of allowing yourself to have feelings for someone.
byatt_loverbyatt_lover on August 13th, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
well i liked the relationship you have with Spencer and Taylor so I do hope you continue to write it even if their characters don't continue elsewhere.

I think in NY legal age is 17.
In England it's 16...so perhaps they can just move. :)